How to avoid anger and aggressiveness By observing oneself and adopting simple habits of calmness and tranquillity, one can control the impulses of anger and aggressiveness. Here are some suggestions:
Consider the true importance of the situation -
1. Ask yourself: - is the reason for my hate important? What would happen if things do not turn out my way? Is it worthwhile to expend so much adrenaline? Will I regret this if I lose my composure?
2. Breathe deeply and calm down - breathing relaxes us. When you feel anger approaching, breathe slowly and deeply. Give yourself instructions: “Calm down, nothing is going to happen! Control yourself, this will soon go away.” It was Thomas Jefferson who originated the famous saying: “When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to a hundred.” Here’s a hint: never send an e-mail when you are angry. If you wish, you can write it, but save it as a draft. Read the message again several hours later and then reconsider.
3. Try to distract yourself - thinking about what caused your anger is just throwing wood on the fire. Pray to God, asking for help to overcome the negative feeling, and become involved in some activity that occupies your mind with other concerns until the anger has decreased.
4. Choose the right solution - avoid saying phrases like these to other people: “You are selfish.” “Your attitude is always the same toward me.” “You do not care about what I think.” Try to express yourself with positive statements: “I would like for you to try to do this in another way.” “I am saddened by this attitude.” “How can I help you?”
5. Do not consider your opponent as an enemy - when someone upsets you with their behaviour or words, do not think that this individual is provoking you. Think about other reasons and circumstances that explain this behaviour. If they really have bad intentions, you will admit that this individual is an unhappy person and needs compassion.
6. Practice forgiveness - forgiving does not mean losing the battle. An old Brazilian proverb states, “Forgive your offender and you come out the winner.” Forgiving not only produces calmness in you but also in the other person, who, additionally, will end up respecting you for your nobleness and generosity.
7. Be grateful - the Bible states, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Research confirms that the simple act of showing gratitude for something makes the individual happier. Researchers at the University of California affirm that constantly practicing gratitude can improve health.1
8. Pray - the Bible also says, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44). Researchers have demonstrated that if the person prays for the individual who upset them, this relieves the bad feeling, dissipating the negative thoughts.
The Power of Hope - the MONSTER WITHIN US - is there one in YOU?
Re: The Power of Hope - the MONSTER WITHIN US - TEST YOURSELF
Test yourself To learn whether you are prone to anger, answer YES or NO to these questions:
1. Is it difficult for you to forget the bad things others do to you?
2. When you are not in agreement with your friends, do you end up in a heated argument?
3. When you think of your opponent, do you get stomach pains and a rapid heart rate?
4. Do you become upset when you need to wait in line/queue?
5. Do you become angry with yourself when you cannot control your emotions?
6. Do you become very upset when others are not punctual or do not do things completely?
7. Do you have a tendency to not remember anything that you have said while you were furious?
8. Have you noticed harmful effects on your relationships because of your bad temper?
9. After being upset, do you feel a strong desire to eat, smoke, or drink alcohol to compensate for what has taken place?
10. Have you ever become angry to the point of hitting a person or an object?
Results:
• If you answered YES to 8 or more questions then we advise - seek help as soon as possible so you can control your anger. Your personal, family, and work relationships could very well be at serious risk.
• If you answered YES to 4 to 7 questions, this is a warning that your anger is near a dangerous level. Seek to develop patience and tolerance, and you will be able to live in different ways, keeping calm and yielding. Observe others and learn how to get what you want using good manners.
• If you answered YES to 3 or fewer questions, you are in the right place to face anger and hate. Continue in this manner, because you are a person who is hard to upset.
1. Is it difficult for you to forget the bad things others do to you?
2. When you are not in agreement with your friends, do you end up in a heated argument?
3. When you think of your opponent, do you get stomach pains and a rapid heart rate?
4. Do you become upset when you need to wait in line/queue?
5. Do you become angry with yourself when you cannot control your emotions?
6. Do you become very upset when others are not punctual or do not do things completely?
7. Do you have a tendency to not remember anything that you have said while you were furious?
8. Have you noticed harmful effects on your relationships because of your bad temper?
9. After being upset, do you feel a strong desire to eat, smoke, or drink alcohol to compensate for what has taken place?
10. Have you ever become angry to the point of hitting a person or an object?
Results:
• If you answered YES to 8 or more questions then we advise - seek help as soon as possible so you can control your anger. Your personal, family, and work relationships could very well be at serious risk.
• If you answered YES to 4 to 7 questions, this is a warning that your anger is near a dangerous level. Seek to develop patience and tolerance, and you will be able to live in different ways, keeping calm and yielding. Observe others and learn how to get what you want using good manners.
• If you answered YES to 3 or fewer questions, you are in the right place to face anger and hate. Continue in this manner, because you are a person who is hard to upset.
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