STANDING ON THE SIDE OF SUFFERING.

[PAHaworth]

STANDING ON THE SIDE OF SUFFERING
By prof Gifford Rhamie Messenger 2-2024
The death toll and suffering in the conflict between Israel and Gaza have mounted to sheer catastrophic humanitarian levels. How does one get a perspective on this human tragedy? Dr Gifford Rhamie says that ‘In November 2023, approximately a month after the violent attack on 7th October, an Israeli man in Tel Aviv reached out to me on social media. About a week later I bumped into a Palestinian man in London who had been over here on holiday when the attack happened, leaving behind a family afflicted by the massacre in Gaza. I had 2 amazing conversations with people who are suffering on either side of the conflict … serendipitously, you might say. They both shared their disappointment, agony, embarrassment and sorrow with me. One was an Israeli Jew; the other a Palestinian Muslim - both living in Israel. Yes, this was troubling. Both were people of faith with personal hope in humanity. So, what did I do? How could I react? What could I say in those deep and meaningful moments? This is what I learned from the conversations: listen!
First, be silent. I kept silent to ‘enter in’ through active listening. I listened to enter the space of suffering. Therein is the world of the visceral, the world of in-betweenness. Suffering is spiritual. It is tangible and intangible; visible and invisible; historical and ahistorical! It is always messy - hardly a straight line.
Second, groan. As the Spirit groans in ineffable sounds in our groaning (Romans 8:26), so I groaned in theirs. Often there are no words to say in reply to existential suffering and pain. Your gesture of nodding, your groaning, connects your humanity with their humanity (their suffering, their pain).
Third, be near and very present. I found a moment in my heart when I had suffered in the past, when I was in deep pain. This is an intimately human moment: a human ‘presence’, a human connectedness. Your presence is a sign of hope. People who look back at their moment of grief, loss and pain tend to take comfort from those who were present, even if they were silent in the shadows.
Fourth, extend a hand. I offered to help in a way that they desired, even to listen again. The human touch is affirming, and transmits tangible care and practical support. This is where hope is incarnated, is grounded.
Fifth, offer to walk beside them. By walking beside them in their story, I better understood their story from their point of view. Even as a listener, you may journey with them and follow their story. Here, you are seen as a well-wisher, a prayer partner.
Sixth, be transcendent. Acknowledge in your heart that Someone greater than you is in your presence. That Someone, the Source of sources, is God.
Seventh, find support for yourself. Privately share what you have experienced with a confidant, a trustworthy friend. This helps you to manage what you have taken on, and helps you to retain your sanity and humanity. By following these steps, my presence was taken seriously and empathetically. I was not worthy, but they saw my humanity as worthy.